A Shot Glass Half Full

Random Sports Trivia: Who has recorded the highest vertical in NFL Combine history? (Answer at the end of the post.)


Draft weekend, I can't get enough of it. Except for Mel Kiper Jr., I can get enough of him, and I did. I love the draft because everyone gets their hopes up for next year, or they curse their management and coaches for making terrible selections. Anyways, I'm no analyst, although I most likely have more football experience and more knowledge of how the game is actually played than Kiper, so I'm not going to sit here and give grades and stuff. But I will say a few things I liked, laughed at, and scratched my head about this past weekend.

First, I think the battle for lowest IQ in pro sports is between two very contrasting people, Al Davis and Ron Artest. I don't mean to offend any Oakland Raiders fans out there (thats a joke you see, because hardly anyone reads this, and because even less people, who can read, are still fans of the Raiders after Davis passed up Crabtree for Heyward-Bay). Also, a Rockets' fan actually told me he thinks Artest might be slightly retarded, so I absolve myself of defaming the Rockets' forward, and of offending any mentally disabled people who don't want to be associated with Artest.

Graham Harrell didn't get drafted. This makes me feel good. Actually, it makes me feel good on many levels (not sexually). Let it be known, I despise Harrell. Okay, despise is a strong word, but still I'm the anti-Graham Harrell fan, so much so that I even let his brother know it once. (True story, his brother became an assistant coach where I played high school ball after I graduated, and while visiting and talking with my old coaches (and Graham's brother, although I didn't know it was him yet) I said "I dislike Graham Harrell with a passion," with his brother about five feet away. Granted, I didn't know it was his brother when I said it, but I didn't apologize after I found out, and he wasn't even mad, and my coaches thought it was hilarious.) I played against him in high school three times, two of which we lost; however, those two were regular season games, and the game we won was a semi-final game in Texas Stadium, which also happened to be one of the greatest comebacks in ALL of football history. If you don't believe me, I'll try to get the video on here sometime, but otherwise just imagine this: Down 14-3 with roughly 4:30 left in the game and its 4th and 24 on our 12, a few answered hail marys and an amazing one-handed onside kick recovery later and we pull it out. Here's why I can't stand the guy. After the game and during the post game hand shakes, Graham grabs our defensive coordinator by the collar of his shirt and starts yelling (and cursing) at him and telling him that he knows who should have won the game and that we got lucky. Need I mention our head coach had to tell his head coach (and DAD) to get his son off of our coach. This is just one of the many classless things he has done in the times I have played against him or watched him play. Other things include untying and retying his shows on our bench after running out of bounds while and flipping the crowd off at Tech after getting booed. Believe me, my angst doesn't stem from jealousy, I've played against the likes of Matthew Stafford and Kevin Kolb, just to name a couple, and I geniunely hope those guys are succesful in the NFL. But I can't say the same for a guy who, in my personal opinion, is classless when he wins and loses.

Random draft stuff:

-When I first saw this, I really thought he said International Football League (fast forward to 7:00 mark to his interview with Erin Andrews):




-Herman Johnson OG (Denton High, LSU) was drafted in the 5th round by the Arizona Cardinals. Which makes 4 players from my home town of Denton, TX to currently be in the NFL. The other three, Jarvis Moss DE (Denton Ryan, University of Florida, Denver Broncos), Derek Lokey NT (Denton Ryan, University of Texas, Kansas City Chiefs), and Anthony Aldridge (Denton High, University of Houston, Denver Broncos).

-I was really hoping Michael Tauiliili (ILB Duke) would get drafted, more so, that he gets on the field so I can see see the sawesomeness that is the end of his last name printed on a jersey.
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So I said I wouldn't talk about draft grades or analyze the picks, but I do feel compelled to talk about my Cowboys just a little bit, and moreover, to my compadre Cowboys fans. I can't honestly say anyone should be as excited as they were after last years draft. No big name players, no first day players, and what seemed to be like a lot of reaches for picks. Anyways, here are a few tidbits and pieces of advice to help see the silver (and blue) lining in the Cowboys draft cloud:

-Disregard all draft grades, especially those by Mel Kiper Jr.

-Just because Parcells had a great draft ('05) and good draft ('03) doesn't mean the Cowboys can't draft without him. He had an average ('04) and very subpar ('07) draft as well. Not to mention, the Cowboys had a great draft last year without him. Parcells' drafts.

-You can argue the Cowboys didn't address their needs, and ask why take a project in McGee in the Fourth round or a kicker in the fifth round. And honestly I still don't agree with those two picks, but hopefully McGee proves me wrong and at least with K David Buehler the 'boys won't have these god awful kickoff stats anymore. If you're too lazy to check out that link, Cowboys were last in touchbacks with a whopping zero, 2nd to last in kickoff distance, and 1st in kickoffs out of bounce. Also, we needed depth at a lot of positions and better special teams play. You can still say that a lot of the guys were supposed to go a little later than we selected them, but if they can end up providing solid depth and better special teams play, I'm happy.

-By the way, check out the beast that is David Buehler.

-Also, you have to include Roy Williams in this years draft, and surely he is better than any receiver we could have drafted with the 20th pick. I know he had a rough year last year, but hopefully this will give you some hope, (he might not have T.O. speed, but he did run a 4.42 in the combine, and he has better hands, lets just see if he can put it together this year):




I hope you're now seeing the Cowboys draft and upcoming season as a glass half full, even if it's just a shot glass. (Fill the shot glass with tequila if you're still pessimistic.) Also check out bloggingtheboys.com for some solid Cowboys coverage.


Random Sports Trivia Answer: Gerald Sensabaugh, Cowboys newly acquired Safety. 46 inches!

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Song of the Post

(In honor of Austin City Limits Festival 2009!)

Corduroy - Pearl Jam

I'm Seeing Red (Ranger Red)

***(I started this blog entry last friday before the Rangers loss against the Tiger started. But considering they went 0-3 wearing their blue, I stand by wanting to see the Rangers wear more red.)

I'm all about the people (in this case, person) and since my one registered blog follower, Sean Brown, wants an entry about baseball I'm gonna give it to him. And what better time to do it than right after a sweep by the Rangers to start off the season. Side note, when it comes to colors in general, and on uniforms, I prefer blue. But, with the Rangers' 3 - 0 start while wearing Ranger Red, I'm thinking I could get used to red. I know it's just three games, and it was just the Indians, but the Rangers did knock out last year's Cy Young winner in 5 innings (7 earned runs), get a gem of a start from "ace" Kevin Millwood, and saw some new faces make nice contributions (Elvis Andrus, Andruw Jones, Omar Vizquel). It's tough being a Rangers fan, that goes without question, but they have been fun to watch, sometimes even for other teams fans:

The Rangers style reminds me of another team, the 06-07 Phoenix Suns. I know it's a different sport and year, but just check out these analogies before you go cursing me for comparing them to a basketball team, not to mention a Western Conference rival of the Mavs. Part of this is prediction, part of this is based on what they've already done, and all of this is admittedly a stretch, but just think about it.

Ballpark in Arlington :: Mike D'antoni

Playing at the Ballpark in Arlington is like playing for Mike D'antoni. You can count on the high-scoring games with little defense (pitching).

Ian Kinsler :: Steve Nash

Everything gets started with the lead-off man just like it does with the point guard. Steve Nash had MVP numbers and Kinsler has put up and will put MVP potential numbers this year too.

Josh Hamilton :: Amare Stoudamire

The heavy hitters of their respective teams. Hamilton drives in runs like Amare finishes.

Michael Young :: Shawn Marion

Just like Shawn Marion could do a little bit of everything for the Suns, Michael Young can do a little bit of everything for the Rangers, and they're both all-star caliber players.

Nelson Cruz :: Leandro Barbosa

Just like Leandro finally came around the '06-'07 season to put up his best numbers, so will Nelson Cruz this year.

Elvis Andrus :: Raja Bell
Even though Andrus has been given a spot in the starting lineup mainly for his defense, he is going to be quite the offensive surprise, just like Bell was for the Suns.

Chris Davis :: Boris Diaw
Although their numbers won't be and were not as good as Josh Hamilton and Amare Stoudamire (respectively), Chris Davis is capable of being a quality clean-up hitter just like Boris had his best year when asked to step up in place of an injured Stoudamire.
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Suggestion Box

If you've been following you know I rarely talk much about music, and even though I'm not a musician and don't know have any qualifications to talk about it, I like it, a lot. I really like hearing about new bands and songs and I've been lucky enough to get some recent suggestions, which I'll include now. I'm not going to do a Song of the Post since I'm already embedding these songs. Enjoy. (For any suggestions email nonechance@gmail.com)

Animal Collective - My Girls
-Thanks to Keith H. in Seattle, WA

Red Sea, Black Sea - Shearwater
-Thanks to Leslie L. in Austin, TX

Bon Iver - Skinny Love
-Thanks to Evan C. in Denton, TX


Phoenix - 1901
-Thanks to Heath R. in Austin, TX (Suggestion #2 for Heath, the current leader)

This last one wasn't actually a suggestion by a reader. Instead, it's a suggestion by me to check out my friend and ex-classmate (who I mention in my profile) Molly's blog, Cheers & Rock 'n' Roll, as it always has solid suggestions for new music to check out. My personal opinion is that the blog is aimed a little more at the female gender, not that mine isn't aimed more towards the Y chromosome carriers out there. However, it's still a great blog to check out, so I suggest you do, if for anything else because she posts videos like this: (Regardless if you like the music, you have to agree the video is sawesome.)

Catching Up

I first and foremost want to apologize for leaving all of you (however few "you" actually represents) a week and a half without a post. I can assure you that posting on this blog is still a top priority (I'm still GF-less, still job-less); however, I would eventually like to get a girlfriend and a job, thus, I took valuable blog-posting time and used it to study for the GMAT (A standardized test necessary for graduate business school acceptance). If you don't see the cause-and-effect I've implied, here it is in Lehman's terms. More studying leads to better GMAT score, better GMAT score leads to better MBA program, better MBA program leads to better job, better job leads to girlfriend (assuming I can't get one before the end of this equation). Anyways, I took the GMAT on this past Thursday and had been studying way harder than I generally would have liked to since my last post on the Wednesday before. If you're wondering how I did (the scores are given right away) I won't tell you my exact score but lets just say my performance was similar to Frank the Tank's performance in the debate versus James Carville in Old School. Basically, I'm admitting that any stroke of genius that I'm miraculously capable of showing can only be explained by me blacking out. By the way, the real reason I made the analogy was so that I could embed the clip from the movie, but much to my chagrin (love that word) it wasn't on YouTube.

A few things have happened since we last talked, or since I last blogged and you may or may not have read it. So lets catch up:

OU's women's basketball team lost in the Final Four of the women's tourney, and normally I wouldn't care just as much as the next guy. On top of that, the rivalry between OU and UT has nothing to do with why I'm glad they lost; I'm just glad to see someone go down who put their scholarship on the line if their team didn't win the national title. It's ridiculous for anyone to think Oklahoma would rescind her scholarship and take the money back (which they already said the won't do). There's nothing wrong with guaranteeing victory, especially if you're Rasheed Wallace and you can "Guaransheed victory", but to put something on the line as valuable as a college scholarship (in the words of Jim Rome) "burns" me.

Michael Jordan, David Robinson, John Stockton, Jerry Sloan, and C. Vivian Stringer were all inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame. You most likely already know this, and if you don't, you can go to ESPN to get real journalistic work on it, but I do have a couple things to share about some of these players/coaches. First and foremost, is John Stockton the last White-American (emphasis on American) superstar to play in NBA? Is the globalization of basketball to blame? I personally say yes to both, but hope I'm wrong on the first. Also, MJ was, is, and will always be the greatest as far as I'm concerned, and I could sit and watch his highlights all day. However, this following highlight urks me a little (yes, i said urks):

It's not that the play isn't amazing or that it could only be done by very few, I just think it is slightly over-hyped relative to other MJ highlights in his seemingly never-ending reel of highlights. He states in this video that he switched hands because he thought his dunk might get blocked by Sam Perkins, but if you watch it closely, it wasn't close to being blocked. I see it similarly to an amazing dunk on a fast break, jaw-dropping and rare, but also an two points made more difficult.

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Meory #2

(incase you don't recall, or are new to my humble excuse for a blog, a "meory" is a theory backed up only by me, no scientific research or solid evidence here.)

There is a strong correlation between a person's amount of athleticism relative to professional athletes and their ability to celebrate with style (and without injury). Prime example of this is when old Bill Gramatica tore his ACL celebrating after a made field goal. Compared to the average professional athlete I'd have to say its hard to argue that he was below the average athletic ability threshold. Moreover, when's the last time you have seen a top player of any sport make a fool of themselves celebrating? I can't say I remember, but I'm open to suggestions. Without further ado, here are some YouTube clips of some of my favorite celebrations gone awry, and a few with a little more style/creativity.

Celebrations by sub-par professional athletes:

gus frerotte head-butt/concussion (it has been taken off of youtube, but if you scroll down at look at one of the user pictures you'll see a little mini-video of it.

Some CFL QB, no wonder he couldn't celebrate at real pro level.

Celebrations by top athletes:

Marshawn Lynch (although this is a post-game celebration and he was in college, this is just too sawesome not to show)

I personally feel the majority of football and basketball players make up the best pro athletes (biased opinion), but I definitely agree that soccer players, especially the following ones, help make the upper-echelon of athletic ability amongst pro athletes.

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Song of the Post

Please Visit Your National Parks (Album) - Oxford Collapse

Beer Me a Basketball Hypothetical

It's been a while since I first beered you a hypothetical, and this is one that I have thought about for a while, so I decided to do some research. I assume most sports junkies like to have a decent amount of knowledge when it comes to where pro players played their college ball, and not only that, it makes for good trash talk when you can say your college has had more or better pros.

When it comes to making lineups out of college alumni I think the NBA is the only sport where you can actually make a decent amount of complete starting lineups. Most of the schools I'm about to list will be pretty obvious, but I'd say at least a few of them might come as a surprise. (My beloved Longhorns being one of them of course, why else would I do the research?) Also a few schools mentioned in Pat Forde's top ten programs are missing. Kentucky, Louisville, and Indiana to be exact. And before you start arguing at how B.S. this list is, note that I'm making the lineups by CURRENT NBA players, and by their current level of skill, injured or not. (For example, Gilbert Arenas.)

Hypothetical #2

Which college's alumni, currently playing in the NBA, would make the best lineup?

I'm taking the top six players and making the best starting lineup, along with a sixth man. I'm taking position into consideration as much as possible but inevitably some lineups might be heavily weighted towards a certain position, because I'm still trying to take the best six players. A few colleges have great players in the NBA (Syracuse, Georgetown, Marquette) but not enough to make a decent lineup. As you can see I added a poll gadget to my blog so you can vote which team you think is the best, but I'm listing my personal top ten (with an admitted slight bias for Texas) in order from worst to best. By the way, I used basketballreference.com as my source, but they don't have this years rookies, although I did my best to include them. Here goes:

10. Georgia Tech

5 - Chris Bosh

4 - Matt Harpring

3 - Thaddeus Young

2 - Stephon Marbury

1 - Jarret Jack

6th - Javaris Crittenton

9. Florida

5 - Al Horford

4 - David Lee

3 - Udonis Haslem

2 - Mike Miller

1 - Corey Brewer

6th - Joakim Noah

8. UCLA

5 - Kevin Love

4 - Trevor Ariza

3 - Matt Barnes

2 - Baron Davis

1 - Russell Westbrook

6th - Jordan Farmar

7. Kansas

5 - Nick Collison

4 - Drew Gooden

3 - Paul Pierce

2 - Kirk Hinrich

1 - Mario Chalmers

6th - Darrell Arthur (you can go with Brandon Rush or Julian Wright if it makes you feel better)

6. TEXAS

5 - LaMarcus Aldridge

4 - Kevin Durant

3 - Maurice Evans

2 - Daniel Gibson

1 - TJ Ford

6th - DJ Augustin

5. Arizona

5 - Channing Frye

4 - Andre Igoudala

3 - Richard Jefferson

2 - Gilbert Arenas

1 - Mike Bibby

6th - Jason Terry

4. North Carolina

5 - Rasheed Wallace

4 - Antawn Jamison

3 - Marvin Williams

2 - Vince Carter

1 - Raymond Felton

6th - Rashad McCants

3. Duke

5 - Carlos Boozer

4 - Elton Brand

3 - Loul Deng

2 - Corey Maggette

1 - Chris Duhon

6th - Shane Battier

2. UCONN

5 - Emeka Okafor

4 - Charlie Villanueva

3 - Ray Allen

2 - Richard Hamilton

1 - Ben Gordon

6th - Caron Butler

1. Wake Forest

5 - Darius Songalia

4 - Tim Duncan

3 - *insert Al-Farouq Aminu in 3 months

2 - Josh Howard

1 - Chris Paul

6th - *insert Jeff Teague in 3 months

I know putting soon-to-be rookies on the Wake Forest squad is cheap, but they will be in the NBA as soon as the draft comes, and I think it's safe to say they'll both come out, even after they laid an egg against Cleveland St., which killed my bracket no less. With the best power forward and point guard in the game in this lineup, along with an all-star caliber (not of late, believe me, I'm a Mavs fan) small forward, I feel you can throw anyone in there with them, thats just how good I think they are. Also, you can put up good arguments to swap my 4 and 5, and my 6 and 7, but that's just how I see it. (And I see it from 5'7" off the ground with only one year of high school basketball experience; I'm not claiming to be anything I'm not, but I am a fan.)

**BONUS**

If you can consider this a bonus, I'm making the lineups of players who didn't play college basketball (in the U.S.). One American and one international. I hope after you see these two lineups it should be understood which one I think is better, not that the other one isn't also amazing.

International

5 - Yao Ming

4 - Pau Gasol

3 - Dirk Novitzki

2 - Manu Ginobili

1 - Tony Parker

6th - Jose Calderon

U.S.

5 - Dwight Howard

4 - Kevin Garnett

3 - Lebron James

2 - Kobe Bryant

1 - Monta Ellis

6th - Amare Stoudamire

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I'm sending out an S.O.S.

Since I gave you my much anticipated (by me) 2nd installment of Beer Me a Hypothetical, I figure I'd include my 2nd installment of Sending out an S.O.S. I know just because it's the second time I've done it, doesn't make it it cool. We are in agreement, don't worry. This one goes out to Mark Titus, you may have read his blog or seen him as a listed inspirer on my profile, either way, he deserves a shout out (however insignificant this one may be). He is the founder of a club and blog called Club Trillion. I highly suggest you read it, or listen to the Bill Simmons Podcasts that he has been on (two to date). Anyway, he is an ex-manager turned scholarship player turned walk-on for the Ohio State Buckeye basketball team and he gives quite the humorous and sawesome insight to life as a college basketball bench-rider. Obviously he has gained quite the recognition since he has been on a couple of BS Reports (Simmons' podcasts), not to mention his blog receives about 10,000 hits per day. All this in the span of about five months. Impressive? I think so. But the main reason he gets the shout out is not because of what I just mentioned, no, instead it is because the fact that as an otherwise irrelevant part of the college basketball scene, he has managed to garner the attention of Erin Andrews, whom he jokingly refers to as Erin Andrews-Titus. I'm not trying to be one of those VH1-esque gossip blogs talking about Erin Andrews' love life and what not, I'm just saying that he managed to get her to track him down for a conversation (as he stated in his second BS Report appearance), and if that doesn't make you just a little bit jealous, well than you might just have to check the room your reading this in and make sure it's not a closet. Anyways, regardless if it ever reaches your computer screen (I would bet against it on Streak for the Cash) here's your shout out Mark "The Shark" Titus.

Here's a sample of his humor at work, pre-blog era. More of the same is found at his blog which you should read.

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Since this entry has a basketball theme, I figure I'd correlate the only (regretfully so) YouTube clip with the rest of the entry. This video helps explain why I "choose" not to dunk. Note, me not dunking has nothing to with being 5'7" or lack of levitation-ability, homes. Instead, it has to do with a fear of heights. I enjoy being near the ground, much unlike the girl in this video. Enjoy.

Crazy Blob Jump Launch!

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Before your attention span deserts you

*You can now send any questions, approvals, complaints, job offers, and suggestion box ideas to NoneChance@gmail.com. You know want to, except for complaints, you don't want to send those.

**You can always post comments on a post by clicking on the comments link at the end of each post, and I just added an email Icon that will help you send the particular entry to any friends, family, and even people you don't particularly care for. Thanks.

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Song of the Post

Here It Comes - Modest Mouse

Let Me, Let Me Update Ya

If you are wondering if I got the title of this post from this Beyonce commercial, you're right. As an ex-Advertising major I can tell you Direct TV and the ad agency they hired did a good job at creating recall with the commercial. Except the only thing recalled from this commercial was Beyonce dancing in a gold dress, I had no idea it was for Direct TV until I just watched it on YouTube. By the way, I have tried to emulate the dance she does in the commercial but seem to find myself looking a little more like this:

Back to things of relevance, my sincerest apologies for leaving a week without a post. However, I don't apologize for what kept me from posting, which includes the best St. Patrick's Day party I've ever been to (thank you Cahill's Pub, especially for letting me embarrass the comp. in a couple of dart tournaments) and also, doing my part for TGG (The Greater Good) in this time of economic turmoil by boosting Lake Charles' local economy. Sure, it may have seemed that I was "losing" my money at the Black Jack and Roulette Tables, but you and I know I was "giving" it out of the generosity that is my most (and only) crippling fault. Anyways, a few things have happened recently that made me feel the need to update you about, here they are:

1. T.O. signed with the Buffalo Bills. Considering their best player will most likely miss some time due to criminal activity, I can't say I blame them at the formidable attempt to become relevant since their back-to-back beat downs in '92 and '93 by a pretty good team that I don't think needs mentioning.

2. The U.S. made the semi-finals in the World Baseball Classic. And if you didn't see how, here's a clip that actually gave me a little bit of chills when I saw it happening live. (Not Rudy chills, but still.)

 

3. And oh yeah, the NCAA Tournament has started. NCAA basketball is probably my fourth favorite sport, behind both pro and college football and pro basketball, but even so, it has the best post-season in all of sports (Texas High School Football is a close second, and I'm only being half facetious). Here's an update within an update, Western Kentucky just held off Illinois for an obligatory 12 - 5 upset in the first round, not that I picked it in my ONLY bracket. I wasn't able place my bracket in this blog large enough to be able to read so I'll just give you my final four. Wake Forest vs. UCONN and Pitt vs. UNC. Championship game, Pitt over UCONN 71 - 68. 

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PSA

As I mentioned in my first entry, I'm not an integral part of TGG, but that doesn't mean I can't do my best to be a part one day. And after hearing about Dante Stallworth, I felt it was necessary to speak about drunk driving, however, I prefer to speak through the art of embedding YouTube clips. On top of all the obvious reasons why you shouldn't drink and drive, this first video gives you another reason besides the scary and tragic stories.

However, if you regretfully find yourself pulled over after a few drinks, I hope you handle it like this. (and yes I know its not real)

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Song of the Post

Title Track - Death Cab For Cutie

Upset City Baby!

Already major underdogs are taking down powerhouses, and the NCAA tournament hasn’t even started yet. Confused? Well you wouldn’t be if you were watching the World Baseball Classic like I told you too. The Netherlands beat the Dominican Republic, TWICE. Granted, it’s not unusual for a dominant team to lay an egg at the same time a toilet-team plays above and beyond, but to do it twice in one week, impressive. It's as if a sixteen seed team beat the number one and two seed teams to make it to the Final Four, and if you don't believe me, just look at these rosters. Dominican Republic. The Netherlands.

Speaking of the NCAA tournament, I want to lay some law down (or just give you my insignificant opinion). When making a NCAA tournament bracket, there are a couple of guidelines I think everyone should follow, at least if they want to be considered as a legit bracket-ist. For every money tournament bracket group (league?) you join, you should have the same bracket for all of them. (By the way, I don't condone gambling addictions, "addictions" being the keyword.) My reason being, if you win the fifth of five different groups that you joined, and all of your brackets were different, that not only shows a lack of integrity, but a lack of cojones, and that you just got lucky. But if you want to show the world, or just your friends, that you're an elite bracket-ist, use the exact same bracket for every money group you join. This does mean it's okay to have your homer team (in my case Texas) to win the tournament in a bracket you made just for fun. If your team happens to be a legit contender that you truly feel will win it all, kudos to you, but I hope they suck at football.

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Do sports mimic movies, or is that just me?

Often hollywood portrays athletes or teams with their movies, and sometimes they just make a fun twist out of sport through the fine art of cinema. Over time I feel like I have seen things in sports that reminded me of things I had seen before in movies. Sometimes it's not even an action or event, but just something that has to do with sports that triggers my pre-Pimp My Ride Daewoo of a brain to make a correlation between sport and movie. Here's what I can putter out:

Tiger Woods :: Caddyshack (minus the explosions caused by ol' Carl)

Benjamin Button :: Greg Oden (obvious) and Dustin Pedroia (think about it, he's only 25)

The Longest Yard :: This SEC Referee

Bring it on :: Mark Madsen

John McEnroe :: Samuel L. Jackson in every movie he's ever made

...and my personal favorite

Shane Falco :: Sage Rosenfels

Unfortunately the best YouTube clip of it won't let me embed, so here it is. ENJOY!

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I'm Sending out an S.O.S.

No, I'm not asking for help (unless you're an employer who wants to pay me lots of moneys, than maybe, just maybe) and I'm not talking about Sting or The Police. I'm sending out a Shout Out, Son! Agreeably it's a stretch, but I never said I was cool. Anyways, my shout out goes to Jason Belmonte. First of all, I didn't read the entire article, in fact, I barely got past the title, and I don't expect you to either. Let's be honest, its still bowling. However, he's only two years older than me and has already "been featured in the Wall Street Journal, the L.A. Times, the Denver Post and on 'Good Morning America.'" as stated in the Page 2 article. Point is, if he can manage to get in the news and on TV by bowling two-handed (something I've done numerous times) and not even be on the PBA Tour, which I guess is bowling's version of the NBA, (which I'm not on either) than he deserves my respect, but instead I'll give him a shout out he won't even hear, or read, or whatever.

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Suggestion Box

I didn't plan on having back-to-back posts with Suggestion Boxes, but I'm a maverick (I don't plan stuff), which I guess makes you my Goose. Anyways, golfer's (especially those who enjoy a cold brew on the course) should enjoy this slightly more than everyone else, although, everyone should enjoy it.

Much thanks to Scott P. in Austin

Uroclub

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Song of the Post

Our Swords (Album) - Band Of Horses

Third Wheel Surprises

*Random Sports Trivia: What two NBA players share the record for most three-pointers made in a single game? (Answer at the end of the post)

 

Before I get into this post I’d like you to know that I have experience with sports’ trios. Real life experience. Although somewhat different from the following trios because we were all on the basketball court at the same time during 7^th grade (A-team), 8^th grade (A-team), and freshman year (JV team), we all played guard. And just like the following trios where the third wheel ended up with the most or equally successful career of the three, I too ended up with the most successful basketball career. Sure, Myron and Earl had legitimately successful football careers, but I got the last laugh in basketball. (Note: we all played football together from 7^th grade to senior year, but different positions.) While their basketball careers ended in high school with mere Texas state playoff appearances, mine ended last year as the UT intramural B-league champ. Before you go accusing me of tooting my own horn, my real basketball career ended after freshman year, when I realized 5’7” Hispanics weren’t varsity basketball material for a team that had just won State a couple years prior. Also, my football career ended recently as the QB/coach of an UT intramural B-league semi-finalist while theirs’ ended as Division I scholarship players at Hawaii and Missouri. (Myron’s might continue as an Arena League player). These following former third wheels did what I was unable to do, and that’s being just as successful, or at least closely as successful, as their trio compadres.

Third Wheel #1

This guy is the reason I thought of this entry in the first place. Matt Cassel, third wheel at USC in 2002 behind Carson Palmer and Matt Leinart. He was actually second-string in ‘02 in front of Leinart and was beat out by Leinart the following year, so technically he wasn’t really the third wheel that year, but considering he sat behind them both, I think it’s safe to say he was. Also, I wouldn’t quite say he is on Carson Palmer’s level yet, or that he will ever get there, but considering he has gotten a starting job at KC and Leinart can’t complete a pass to two Pro Bowl receivers, he’s kind of getting the last laugh.

Third Wheel #2

Brandon Jacobs. In 2003 he played running back alongside Ronnie Brown and Cadillac Williams at Auburn. Although he was second in carries that year with 72, he was going to play third fiddle the following year so he transferred to Southern Illinois. One Superbowl ring and two less severe knee injuries later, I’d say he has had the best career so far.

Third Wheel #3

This guy makes the 2001 Miami Hurricanes seem even that much more dominant, which if you look at there current NFL players, doesn’t really seem possible. Frank Gore, who was backup to Clinton Portis in ’01 would actually have made Willis Mcgahee the Third Wheel had it not been for his injury in prior to the ’02 season. Regardless, three Pro Bowlers at RB and a fourth (Najeh Davenport) that was drafted in the fourth round and had a couple of serviceable years, impressive.

The Final (and my personal favorite) Third Wheel

This haircut says it all. The Phoenix Suns at one point had Kevin Johnson, Jason Kidd, and Steve Nash. They had a short stint with Sam Cassell instead of J-Kidd, but it was too short and not quite as impressive. Anyways, has any other team ever had three point guards at the same time, who in their prime were arguably one of the top three point guards in the league? Check this out for all-time best point guards. Also, I found this video of Nash pulling off some cool soccer moves, another reason why he is my favorite of the third wheels.

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Suggestion Box

As the first real suggestion to NoneChance, (The beer suggestion was made without the intentions of being a blog post.) I’d like to challenge the rest of you to beat the sawesome-ness that is this suggested video. By the way, this video is technically PG-13, but I’d take my surroundings into consideration before viewing it. Also, if you are offended that I posted this video suggestion, you can choose not to watch it. For everyone else, ENJOY.

Much thanks to Heath R. in Austin-

Eric Pridz - Call on Me

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Sports Trivia Answer: Kobe Bryant (2003) and Donyell Marshall (2005) both hit 12. Didn't see that coming did you?

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Song of the Post

Take A Bow - Muse

*Not-So-News Flash*

T.O. and Roy L. Williams are F'n out. Enhancing team chemistry is F'n in.

*Note, this is going to be a teaser post. Short but sweet (just like I like the ladies). 

**If you couldn't tell by the navy and burnt orange font (which you probably couldn't), the Dallas Cowboys and the Texas Longhorns are my favorite teams. And football is my favorite sport to watch, play, bet on, and talk about, so UT football is on par with the 'boys and slightly above the rest. Obviously I had to post a little something about such a big name getting released from my #1 team. I admit though, the T.O. news coverage is even going to get a little overkill to me as I'm sure it probably already has to non-Cowboy fans.

I'm sure you've already heard, read, or seen that T.O. and Roy are gone, and if you want a legit journalist's analysis on it, I suggest reading this article, my favorite so far. Concerning T.O., why would I be worried about releasing him when we have a receiver that can dance like this: (sorry for the poor quality)

I have to post the link instead of embedding the video, not sure why the embedded version wouldn't show up, my sincerest.

Concerning Roy L. Williams, anyone who isn't good enough for a second-tier Destiny's Child's member (out of two tiers), isn't good enough for me. Although I must say, she is in the top tier when it comes to attractiveness, so Roy doesn't really have anything to be embarrassed about, except maybe being the highest-paid defensive Cowboy while also managing to only be a two-down safety who makes others around him more prone to injuries.

I honestly don't think they were/are the only thing wrong with the current Cowboys' situation, but releasing them both is a good start. Also, neither of these guys were my least favorite players ever, in fact T.O. probably behaved his best in Dallas than anywhere else and performed at a very high level. I think it was preemptive damage control as the water was bound to boil over, smart move. Roy did have a couple good years with the 'boys, although he never could cover well, but he lost the "it" factor a few years back (the last couple of pro-bowl selections were ludicrous, and you'd know that if you watch enough of the NFL). Maybe he will resurrect his career somewhere else, and some GM will probably over-pay him to give him the chance. I'm just glad it's not the Cowboys time and money he will be wasting anymore.

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Song of the Post

(I thought this song made sense for this post)

American Football - Never Meant

Two-fer Tuesday

I don’t know if its because I’m feeling a little generous or a little randy, but either way, I decided to give you a double-dose of whatever I post today, regardless of how much you don’t care.

I think back to my greatest athletic moment ever (as far as personal feats go), which was at the wily old age of 14, and wonder how did I ever make an almost-half court buzzer-beater to beat a team whom we hadn’t led against all game? (I know you must be thinking, “Why is this nobody tooting his own horn?” but I wouldn’t say accidentally achieving your greatest moment ever as a young teenager is something to brag about.) After years of trying to replicate that shot, and other half court shorts for that matter, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s hard, even with a running start and using two hands. That’s why I’m even more impressed by pro basketball players, not only are they freak athletes who have mastered the fundamentals, but they can make the ridiculous shots look easy too. One-handed half court shots are nothing for these two superstars, which tells you something why they are considered two of the best in the game right now.

But just when you thought I was only giving you two videos, BOOM, a bonus third video. This must be your lucky day, I’d suggest asking the girl out that you’ve always had a crush on but don’t have a chance with. (Kidding, you’ll still fail, not that I wouldn’t.) So who could be better than Lebron and Dwight Howard? You guessed it, THUNDER DAN.

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Sorry Ladies

I just realized it had been a couple posts since I had linked any attractive females, so I thought what better time to make up for it than when I can link TWO attractive females. The first one came to mind when I saw a Dancing with the Stars commercial with her dancing around dressed like this. (I looked for the commercial on Youtube to no avail.) Yeah, I know she is 17 and I don’t care what you say about her being underage and what not, because if you’re a guy, you probably caught yourself watching gymnastics during the last Olympics a little more than you expected you would, just like I did, and it wasn’t because of the Chinese floor routines (or their 14 year old girls).

The main reason I had Shawn Johnson as the first link was so that I could use Dancing with the Stars as a segue to the second, and honestly much more attractive, Julianne Hough, which if she is on this upcoming season of Dancing with the Stars, gives you only a total of one and a half reasons to watch it. (Shawn Johnson only counts as 1/2 because she's 17 and 4'8".)

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Suggestion Box

I figured I’d have my own version of a suggestion box, except instead of giving me suggestions on how I can improve my blog (no need to overload any servers),  I’ll just post suggestions for things such as: movies to watch, places to visit, things to try (we’ll keep it pg13), players to follow, teams/games to bet on, etc.

 Suggestion #1

 Mothership Wit (beer)

This suggestion was given to me by my bro-in-law, and although I just bought it, I have actually yet to try it. So it’s all on him if it sucks. Anyways, it’s an organic beer by the same people who brew Fat Tire, and I’m no tree-hugger, but it sounds delish. It can be found at Whole Foods, although I found it at a nearby gas station that for some reason has a larger selection than H.E.B.

Since this is a Two-fer, the second cerveza suggestion is: (this is my personal suggestion)

 St. Pauli Girl

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 Song(s) of the Post

Car Crash - Matt Nathanson

Two Sets of Three Words

World. Baseball. Classic

Eastbound. And. Down

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Before I get started with this post, which is obviously baseball oriented (East Bound & Down is a new series on HBO about an ex-baseball superstar), I’d like to point out a rare (not really that rare) mistake made by yours truly. After it was brought to my attention by a couple of my “fans”, I noticed my second post about the magnitude of Tiger’s return to golf wasn’t exactly clear on what I was trying to emphasize. So I’m going to take a page from a pro’s book, and since we’ve got a baseball theme going, I’ll take it from Jason Giambi. If the “Great” Giambino can make a mistake as horrendous as almost killing himself with steroids, admit to it, and win Comeback Player of the Year, than I guess the American people love a man who can admit his mistakes. Well small percentage of American people, today that mistake making man is me, a young twenty-something, whose writing skills are average at best. (Remember, I already admitted to being somewhere behind Jesus and Batman in the mistakes column). Anyways, my mistake was not clarifying that Tiger’s return to golf was the biggest to his respective sport than any other previous athlete’s return. Not the most impressive, triumphant, surprising or anticipated, but important to his sport, golf, and more so, the PGA (not to mention all of his sponsors). Think about this, if Tiger comes back and isn’t the same, but instead mortal like the Lefty’s and the Vijay’s, how long until watching just another good golfer gets old for the average sports fan. Here’s an article by USA Today that really goes in to detail about Tiger’s return. So yes, MJ’s return was more surprising and anticipated, but the NBA was going to live on successfully with or without his greatness. Golf and the PGA on the other hand, would live on without Tiger, but especially in the current recession, with how much success?

 Again, my apologies America.

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World Baseball Classic ‘09

 As the self-proclaimed David Eckstein of my high school baseball team, I feel not only qualified, but also obligated to advertise and preview the upcoming WBC. As you may or may not know the WBC is baseball’s version of the World Cup with a couple of minor differences (besides the obvious that different sports are being played). The differences are that there are 16 and not 32 teams, and that the U.S. has a legit shot at winning. Although pool play starts on March 5^th, I felt it was necessary to get the word out a little earlier so that you can buy your official New Era U.S. hat like I have. Note: New Era hats take a little breaking-in before you can wear them in public, unless you enjoy looking like a goob, hence the early announcement. I’m a big fan of the WBC and think you should be too, here’s why: You can be a fan of a real contender without being a bandwagoner (I know bandwagoner isn’t a word but I also know you know what it means); also, you don’t have to sit through a grueling 162 games for an 8-team playoff.

I am a Texas Rangers fan, known to the commoner as a “lost soul” and/or “idiot”. But with the WBC, I am found. I’m not going to sit here and argue anything Rangers, but I will suggest some teams to watch and let you know why my two years of T-ball, two years of coach pitch, and ten years of kid/teenager pitch lead me to believe the U.S. will bring this one home. Offense wins games; pitching wins championships (team character helps too, which is why I like the U.S. over the Dominicans). Here is a great preview to the WBC. The D.R. has the best line-up on paper, no question, but I really feel the U.S. is second and has the best top-to-bottom pitching staff.

Here’s how I think it will play out (WBC bracket):

Round 1: Japan (winner) and Korea from Pool A, Mexico (winner) and Cuba from Pool B, USA (winner) and Venezuela from Pool C, Dominican Republic (winner) and Puerto Rico from Pool D.

Round 2: Mexico (winner) and Japan from Pool 1, Domincan Republic (winner) and USA from Pool 2.

Semi-Finals: U.S. outlasts Mexico 3-2 as Roy O and Matt Garza go toe-to-toe. D.R. beat Japan 9-4 as Yu Darvish gets it from behind from the big bats of the D.R.

Finals: U.S. wins in comeback fashion 5-4, A-Rod still can’t win a championship, and Toby Keith writes a god-awful song about it. The four position players I think take this team over the top: Derek Jeter, Dustin Pedrioa, Shane Victorino, and Curtis Granderson. American's on top again, SON.

By the way, if I had to choose a dark-horse, I'd say Mexico. I really like the additions of young pitchers Matt Garza and Yovani Gallardo. Also because I'm Hispanic, but the U.S. is still my team because I was born in the U.S. (and people can rarely tell I'm Hispanic when they meet me), plus the green and red Mexico hat was just too ugly. 

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Eastbound and Down.

If you don't like either The Office or Entourage, I don't like you. Just kidding, I still like you, but I like people who like either of these two shows more, sorry. Regardless, if you enjoy laughing, you will like Eastbound and Down. I will admit, it's not for the faint of heart, or for those who cannot take a vulgar joke or three, but if you have any bit of immaturity in your sense of humor, get HBO if you don't already have it, or wait for the DVD's and watch EB&D. It's produced by Will Ferrell and stars Danny Mcbride, the only real bright spot from Pineapple Express, and well watch this trailer (which doesn't do it enough justice, but this the only one without much cursing).

Warning: a couple of G.D.'s are dropped incase you are at work.

I added this to my short list of DVRed shows (which includes The Office, Entourage, Top Chef, Important Things with Demetri Martin, which i'm only 98 percent sold on, and occasionally the Colbert Report). So I hope you add it too, but it's understood if you have little ears in your house that keep you from watching crude and vulgar shows.

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Song of the Post

Let The Drummer Kick - Citizen Cope

Beer Me a Hypothetical

Let me just throw this out there; I like hypotheticals, a lot. Sure, in hindsight they are a complete waste of time, but usually so is two-thirds of my day. And at least a quarter of my day is spent sleeping so you do the math on how much productive time I pump out per day. Anyways, I think hypotheticals are great for numerous reasons. Reason A, they are a great conversation starter in cases where people don't know each other that well because of their often ridiculous and lighthearted nature. Reason B, I love sports and the two go together like Pamela Anderson and red one-pieces. For example, (and this one has been fiercely argued over between some of my good friends) Could you ever score a single point against Kobe Bryant in one-on-one if he is trying his hardest? (For my particular friend I said no.) The last reason is how sawesome (super awesome) and over-the-top they can get over a few drinks, which is why I'm beering you a hypothetical.

Hypothetical #1


If the five shortest and five tallest NBA players since 1990 played against each other while in their prime, who would win. Team Short: Mugsy Bogues (5'3"), Earl Boykins (5'5"), Spud Webb (5'7"), Nate Robinson (5'9"), and player-coach Avery Johnson (5'9"). I found quite a few at 5'9" but I chose these two for Nate's dunking ability and Avery's unintentional-humor factor. Team Tall: at point guard Yao Ming (7'6"), Chuck Nevitt (7'5"), Shawn Bradley (7'6"), Gheorghe Muresan (7'7"), and Manute Bol (7'7"). Before I get into why I think a certain team will win, here's a couple videos to help explain myself better. (might want to turn the volume down if at you are at work)

At first I was only going to post the Yao video, but I know half of my eight readers (friends), are Rockets fan who take jabs at Yao Ming personally, whereas Mavs fans like myself think jabs at Shawn Bradley are funny too. Obviously I would go with the short squad, and for various reasons that include: the three point line, the stamina factor, the better overall talent on Team Short, and personal bias, since I measure the same as Spud. If you disagree I'd like to hear why. If you're also short and know or work with someone very tall, remember, there's nothing wrong with talking hypotheticals over some cold brew. Likewise if you're tall and work with someone very short.

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Song of the Post

Ottoman - Vampire Weekend