NoneChance: Tiger's return bigger than MJ's in '95?

One simple reason why Tiger's return is the biggest in sports, ever. He IS golf. Also, he will arguably go down as the greatest golfer ever, if he isn't already considered to be. A few notable returns: Lemieux's return to hockey and the Penguins in 2000 after being diagnosed with Hodgkin's in '93 and being inducted into the Hall of Fame in '97, Lance Armstrong's return to Cycling in '98 after a stint with cancer, and Jordan's return to the Bulls in '95. (Falco's return to football in The Replacements was huge, but also fictional.) Sure Lemieux's return was much more triumphant in terms of overcoming cancer and that he was gone for 7 years, but he didn't return in his prime and there were already larger superstars established in 2000. Armstrong's was also infinitely triumphant after a doctor admitted later that he thought Armstrong only had a 1% chance of surviving, but in terms of a bigger return, he wasn't a big enough deal before he returned.

MJ's return give's Tiger's a very good fight as the biggest to date. His first game back during the '94-'95 season against the Pacers had the highest TV ratings for a regular season NBA game. Without his return there's NoneChance the Bulls complete a second 3-peat in the span of 8 years, not to mention the NBA's best single season record ever, 72-10. And if he never leaves to pursue his "childhoood dream of a career in baseball" (get help for his gambling problem), the Houston Rockets may never win a championship, and when I say "may never", I mean "don't ever". Lastly, without his return, MJ is probably not considered the greatest basketball and maybe greatest athlete ever. So how is Tiger's return better? Good question.

First, Tiger doesn't play a team sport, every win and championship was solely because of him. Second, basketball wasn't quite the international sport it is today at the time of MJ's return, but golf is right now. Third, as Jennifer Aniston made the average male fan want to watch Friends more, so did MJ with the NBA and it's average fans, however they both had plenty to offer to their fans with or with Aniston and MJ, they just made it better. However, Tiger Woods is to golf what a beautiful and popular actress going topless is to a bad movie, they're the only reason a non-enthusiast will watch. If you still don't agree, put yourself in 1995 and ask yourself who won the last NBA title since Jordan left. Now ask yourself who won the last major (golf's equivalents) since Tiger won the U.S. Open last year. Obviously the Houston Rockets won it in '94, and the two majors that have been played (Did you even know there were two that had been played?) were both won by Padraig Harrington, which of course you also knew. Sidenote, as an average fan of golf, I didn't know it until I looked it up. Case closed.

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You're sitting on a gold mine Trebek.

After seeing this how can you not feel that giant soccer balls need to be kicked at people more often? The gold mine, a World Cup soccer promotion. Just have seven fans, six players and one goalie, from each team represented in the World Cup to play each other before the teams come out for the real games. All they need is a smaller field (to ensure more flying bodies and whiplashes like the one in the video) and larger goals. The goal can just be two poles set up far from each other as a crossbar would be unnecessary and hindering. I can see the highlight on SportsCenter right now, a Brazilian fan rockets the elephantiasis soccer ball directly at the French fan goalkeeper, who than appears to briefly morph into Wile E. Coyote getting hit by an eighteen wheeler as he sticks to the giant ball clearing the goal line. I'm sold.

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Scroll to 1:45 of this video, that's all that need be said. (I apologize for linking it instead of embedding it, it wasn't by choice.)

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Song of the Post