Beer Me a Basketball Hypothetical

It's been a while since I first beered you a hypothetical, and this is one that I have thought about for a while, so I decided to do some research. I assume most sports junkies like to have a decent amount of knowledge when it comes to where pro players played their college ball, and not only that, it makes for good trash talk when you can say your college has had more or better pros.

When it comes to making lineups out of college alumni I think the NBA is the only sport where you can actually make a decent amount of complete starting lineups. Most of the schools I'm about to list will be pretty obvious, but I'd say at least a few of them might come as a surprise. (My beloved Longhorns being one of them of course, why else would I do the research?) Also a few schools mentioned in Pat Forde's top ten programs are missing. Kentucky, Louisville, and Indiana to be exact. And before you start arguing at how B.S. this list is, note that I'm making the lineups by CURRENT NBA players, and by their current level of skill, injured or not. (For example, Gilbert Arenas.)

Hypothetical #2

Which college's alumni, currently playing in the NBA, would make the best lineup?

I'm taking the top six players and making the best starting lineup, along with a sixth man. I'm taking position into consideration as much as possible but inevitably some lineups might be heavily weighted towards a certain position, because I'm still trying to take the best six players. A few colleges have great players in the NBA (Syracuse, Georgetown, Marquette) but not enough to make a decent lineup. As you can see I added a poll gadget to my blog so you can vote which team you think is the best, but I'm listing my personal top ten (with an admitted slight bias for Texas) in order from worst to best. By the way, I used basketballreference.com as my source, but they don't have this years rookies, although I did my best to include them. Here goes:

10. Georgia Tech

5 - Chris Bosh

4 - Matt Harpring

3 - Thaddeus Young

2 - Stephon Marbury

1 - Jarret Jack

6th - Javaris Crittenton

9. Florida

5 - Al Horford

4 - David Lee

3 - Udonis Haslem

2 - Mike Miller

1 - Corey Brewer

6th - Joakim Noah

8. UCLA

5 - Kevin Love

4 - Trevor Ariza

3 - Matt Barnes

2 - Baron Davis

1 - Russell Westbrook

6th - Jordan Farmar

7. Kansas

5 - Nick Collison

4 - Drew Gooden

3 - Paul Pierce

2 - Kirk Hinrich

1 - Mario Chalmers

6th - Darrell Arthur (you can go with Brandon Rush or Julian Wright if it makes you feel better)

6. TEXAS

5 - LaMarcus Aldridge

4 - Kevin Durant

3 - Maurice Evans

2 - Daniel Gibson

1 - TJ Ford

6th - DJ Augustin

5. Arizona

5 - Channing Frye

4 - Andre Igoudala

3 - Richard Jefferson

2 - Gilbert Arenas

1 - Mike Bibby

6th - Jason Terry

4. North Carolina

5 - Rasheed Wallace

4 - Antawn Jamison

3 - Marvin Williams

2 - Vince Carter

1 - Raymond Felton

6th - Rashad McCants

3. Duke

5 - Carlos Boozer

4 - Elton Brand

3 - Loul Deng

2 - Corey Maggette

1 - Chris Duhon

6th - Shane Battier

2. UCONN

5 - Emeka Okafor

4 - Charlie Villanueva

3 - Ray Allen

2 - Richard Hamilton

1 - Ben Gordon

6th - Caron Butler

1. Wake Forest

5 - Darius Songalia

4 - Tim Duncan

3 - *insert Al-Farouq Aminu in 3 months

2 - Josh Howard

1 - Chris Paul

6th - *insert Jeff Teague in 3 months

I know putting soon-to-be rookies on the Wake Forest squad is cheap, but they will be in the NBA as soon as the draft comes, and I think it's safe to say they'll both come out, even after they laid an egg against Cleveland St., which killed my bracket no less. With the best power forward and point guard in the game in this lineup, along with an all-star caliber (not of late, believe me, I'm a Mavs fan) small forward, I feel you can throw anyone in there with them, thats just how good I think they are. Also, you can put up good arguments to swap my 4 and 5, and my 6 and 7, but that's just how I see it. (And I see it from 5'7" off the ground with only one year of high school basketball experience; I'm not claiming to be anything I'm not, but I am a fan.)

**BONUS**

If you can consider this a bonus, I'm making the lineups of players who didn't play college basketball (in the U.S.). One American and one international. I hope after you see these two lineups it should be understood which one I think is better, not that the other one isn't also amazing.

International

5 - Yao Ming

4 - Pau Gasol

3 - Dirk Novitzki

2 - Manu Ginobili

1 - Tony Parker

6th - Jose Calderon

U.S.

5 - Dwight Howard

4 - Kevin Garnett

3 - Lebron James

2 - Kobe Bryant

1 - Monta Ellis

6th - Amare Stoudamire

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I'm sending out an S.O.S.

Since I gave you my much anticipated (by me) 2nd installment of Beer Me a Hypothetical, I figure I'd include my 2nd installment of Sending out an S.O.S. I know just because it's the second time I've done it, doesn't make it it cool. We are in agreement, don't worry. This one goes out to Mark Titus, you may have read his blog or seen him as a listed inspirer on my profile, either way, he deserves a shout out (however insignificant this one may be). He is the founder of a club and blog called Club Trillion. I highly suggest you read it, or listen to the Bill Simmons Podcasts that he has been on (two to date). Anyway, he is an ex-manager turned scholarship player turned walk-on for the Ohio State Buckeye basketball team and he gives quite the humorous and sawesome insight to life as a college basketball bench-rider. Obviously he has gained quite the recognition since he has been on a couple of BS Reports (Simmons' podcasts), not to mention his blog receives about 10,000 hits per day. All this in the span of about five months. Impressive? I think so. But the main reason he gets the shout out is not because of what I just mentioned, no, instead it is because the fact that as an otherwise irrelevant part of the college basketball scene, he has managed to garner the attention of Erin Andrews, whom he jokingly refers to as Erin Andrews-Titus. I'm not trying to be one of those VH1-esque gossip blogs talking about Erin Andrews' love life and what not, I'm just saying that he managed to get her to track him down for a conversation (as he stated in his second BS Report appearance), and if that doesn't make you just a little bit jealous, well than you might just have to check the room your reading this in and make sure it's not a closet. Anyways, regardless if it ever reaches your computer screen (I would bet against it on Streak for the Cash) here's your shout out Mark "The Shark" Titus.

Here's a sample of his humor at work, pre-blog era. More of the same is found at his blog which you should read.

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Since this entry has a basketball theme, I figure I'd correlate the only (regretfully so) YouTube clip with the rest of the entry. This video helps explain why I "choose" not to dunk. Note, me not dunking has nothing to with being 5'7" or lack of levitation-ability, homes. Instead, it has to do with a fear of heights. I enjoy being near the ground, much unlike the girl in this video. Enjoy.

Crazy Blob Jump Launch!

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Before your attention span deserts you

*You can now send any questions, approvals, complaints, job offers, and suggestion box ideas to NoneChance@gmail.com. You know want to, except for complaints, you don't want to send those.

**You can always post comments on a post by clicking on the comments link at the end of each post, and I just added an email Icon that will help you send the particular entry to any friends, family, and even people you don't particularly care for. Thanks.

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Song of the Post

Here It Comes - Modest Mouse

Let Me, Let Me Update Ya

If you are wondering if I got the title of this post from this Beyonce commercial, you're right. As an ex-Advertising major I can tell you Direct TV and the ad agency they hired did a good job at creating recall with the commercial. Except the only thing recalled from this commercial was Beyonce dancing in a gold dress, I had no idea it was for Direct TV until I just watched it on YouTube. By the way, I have tried to emulate the dance she does in the commercial but seem to find myself looking a little more like this:

Back to things of relevance, my sincerest apologies for leaving a week without a post. However, I don't apologize for what kept me from posting, which includes the best St. Patrick's Day party I've ever been to (thank you Cahill's Pub, especially for letting me embarrass the comp. in a couple of dart tournaments) and also, doing my part for TGG (The Greater Good) in this time of economic turmoil by boosting Lake Charles' local economy. Sure, it may have seemed that I was "losing" my money at the Black Jack and Roulette Tables, but you and I know I was "giving" it out of the generosity that is my most (and only) crippling fault. Anyways, a few things have happened recently that made me feel the need to update you about, here they are:

1. T.O. signed with the Buffalo Bills. Considering their best player will most likely miss some time due to criminal activity, I can't say I blame them at the formidable attempt to become relevant since their back-to-back beat downs in '92 and '93 by a pretty good team that I don't think needs mentioning.

2. The U.S. made the semi-finals in the World Baseball Classic. And if you didn't see how, here's a clip that actually gave me a little bit of chills when I saw it happening live. (Not Rudy chills, but still.)

 

3. And oh yeah, the NCAA Tournament has started. NCAA basketball is probably my fourth favorite sport, behind both pro and college football and pro basketball, but even so, it has the best post-season in all of sports (Texas High School Football is a close second, and I'm only being half facetious). Here's an update within an update, Western Kentucky just held off Illinois for an obligatory 12 - 5 upset in the first round, not that I picked it in my ONLY bracket. I wasn't able place my bracket in this blog large enough to be able to read so I'll just give you my final four. Wake Forest vs. UCONN and Pitt vs. UNC. Championship game, Pitt over UCONN 71 - 68. 

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PSA

As I mentioned in my first entry, I'm not an integral part of TGG, but that doesn't mean I can't do my best to be a part one day. And after hearing about Dante Stallworth, I felt it was necessary to speak about drunk driving, however, I prefer to speak through the art of embedding YouTube clips. On top of all the obvious reasons why you shouldn't drink and drive, this first video gives you another reason besides the scary and tragic stories.

However, if you regretfully find yourself pulled over after a few drinks, I hope you handle it like this. (and yes I know its not real)

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Song of the Post

Title Track - Death Cab For Cutie

Upset City Baby!

Already major underdogs are taking down powerhouses, and the NCAA tournament hasn’t even started yet. Confused? Well you wouldn’t be if you were watching the World Baseball Classic like I told you too. The Netherlands beat the Dominican Republic, TWICE. Granted, it’s not unusual for a dominant team to lay an egg at the same time a toilet-team plays above and beyond, but to do it twice in one week, impressive. It's as if a sixteen seed team beat the number one and two seed teams to make it to the Final Four, and if you don't believe me, just look at these rosters. Dominican Republic. The Netherlands.

Speaking of the NCAA tournament, I want to lay some law down (or just give you my insignificant opinion). When making a NCAA tournament bracket, there are a couple of guidelines I think everyone should follow, at least if they want to be considered as a legit bracket-ist. For every money tournament bracket group (league?) you join, you should have the same bracket for all of them. (By the way, I don't condone gambling addictions, "addictions" being the keyword.) My reason being, if you win the fifth of five different groups that you joined, and all of your brackets were different, that not only shows a lack of integrity, but a lack of cojones, and that you just got lucky. But if you want to show the world, or just your friends, that you're an elite bracket-ist, use the exact same bracket for every money group you join. This does mean it's okay to have your homer team (in my case Texas) to win the tournament in a bracket you made just for fun. If your team happens to be a legit contender that you truly feel will win it all, kudos to you, but I hope they suck at football.

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Do sports mimic movies, or is that just me?

Often hollywood portrays athletes or teams with their movies, and sometimes they just make a fun twist out of sport through the fine art of cinema. Over time I feel like I have seen things in sports that reminded me of things I had seen before in movies. Sometimes it's not even an action or event, but just something that has to do with sports that triggers my pre-Pimp My Ride Daewoo of a brain to make a correlation between sport and movie. Here's what I can putter out:

Tiger Woods :: Caddyshack (minus the explosions caused by ol' Carl)

Benjamin Button :: Greg Oden (obvious) and Dustin Pedroia (think about it, he's only 25)

The Longest Yard :: This SEC Referee

Bring it on :: Mark Madsen

John McEnroe :: Samuel L. Jackson in every movie he's ever made

...and my personal favorite

Shane Falco :: Sage Rosenfels

Unfortunately the best YouTube clip of it won't let me embed, so here it is. ENJOY!

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I'm Sending out an S.O.S.

No, I'm not asking for help (unless you're an employer who wants to pay me lots of moneys, than maybe, just maybe) and I'm not talking about Sting or The Police. I'm sending out a Shout Out, Son! Agreeably it's a stretch, but I never said I was cool. Anyways, my shout out goes to Jason Belmonte. First of all, I didn't read the entire article, in fact, I barely got past the title, and I don't expect you to either. Let's be honest, its still bowling. However, he's only two years older than me and has already "been featured in the Wall Street Journal, the L.A. Times, the Denver Post and on 'Good Morning America.'" as stated in the Page 2 article. Point is, if he can manage to get in the news and on TV by bowling two-handed (something I've done numerous times) and not even be on the PBA Tour, which I guess is bowling's version of the NBA, (which I'm not on either) than he deserves my respect, but instead I'll give him a shout out he won't even hear, or read, or whatever.

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Suggestion Box

I didn't plan on having back-to-back posts with Suggestion Boxes, but I'm a maverick (I don't plan stuff), which I guess makes you my Goose. Anyways, golfer's (especially those who enjoy a cold brew on the course) should enjoy this slightly more than everyone else, although, everyone should enjoy it.

Much thanks to Scott P. in Austin

Uroclub

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Song of the Post

Our Swords (Album) - Band Of Horses

Third Wheel Surprises

*Random Sports Trivia: What two NBA players share the record for most three-pointers made in a single game? (Answer at the end of the post)

 

Before I get into this post I’d like you to know that I have experience with sports’ trios. Real life experience. Although somewhat different from the following trios because we were all on the basketball court at the same time during 7^th grade (A-team), 8^th grade (A-team), and freshman year (JV team), we all played guard. And just like the following trios where the third wheel ended up with the most or equally successful career of the three, I too ended up with the most successful basketball career. Sure, Myron and Earl had legitimately successful football careers, but I got the last laugh in basketball. (Note: we all played football together from 7^th grade to senior year, but different positions.) While their basketball careers ended in high school with mere Texas state playoff appearances, mine ended last year as the UT intramural B-league champ. Before you go accusing me of tooting my own horn, my real basketball career ended after freshman year, when I realized 5’7” Hispanics weren’t varsity basketball material for a team that had just won State a couple years prior. Also, my football career ended recently as the QB/coach of an UT intramural B-league semi-finalist while theirs’ ended as Division I scholarship players at Hawaii and Missouri. (Myron’s might continue as an Arena League player). These following former third wheels did what I was unable to do, and that’s being just as successful, or at least closely as successful, as their trio compadres.

Third Wheel #1

This guy is the reason I thought of this entry in the first place. Matt Cassel, third wheel at USC in 2002 behind Carson Palmer and Matt Leinart. He was actually second-string in ‘02 in front of Leinart and was beat out by Leinart the following year, so technically he wasn’t really the third wheel that year, but considering he sat behind them both, I think it’s safe to say he was. Also, I wouldn’t quite say he is on Carson Palmer’s level yet, or that he will ever get there, but considering he has gotten a starting job at KC and Leinart can’t complete a pass to two Pro Bowl receivers, he’s kind of getting the last laugh.

Third Wheel #2

Brandon Jacobs. In 2003 he played running back alongside Ronnie Brown and Cadillac Williams at Auburn. Although he was second in carries that year with 72, he was going to play third fiddle the following year so he transferred to Southern Illinois. One Superbowl ring and two less severe knee injuries later, I’d say he has had the best career so far.

Third Wheel #3

This guy makes the 2001 Miami Hurricanes seem even that much more dominant, which if you look at there current NFL players, doesn’t really seem possible. Frank Gore, who was backup to Clinton Portis in ’01 would actually have made Willis Mcgahee the Third Wheel had it not been for his injury in prior to the ’02 season. Regardless, three Pro Bowlers at RB and a fourth (Najeh Davenport) that was drafted in the fourth round and had a couple of serviceable years, impressive.

The Final (and my personal favorite) Third Wheel

This haircut says it all. The Phoenix Suns at one point had Kevin Johnson, Jason Kidd, and Steve Nash. They had a short stint with Sam Cassell instead of J-Kidd, but it was too short and not quite as impressive. Anyways, has any other team ever had three point guards at the same time, who in their prime were arguably one of the top three point guards in the league? Check this out for all-time best point guards. Also, I found this video of Nash pulling off some cool soccer moves, another reason why he is my favorite of the third wheels.

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Suggestion Box

As the first real suggestion to NoneChance, (The beer suggestion was made without the intentions of being a blog post.) I’d like to challenge the rest of you to beat the sawesome-ness that is this suggested video. By the way, this video is technically PG-13, but I’d take my surroundings into consideration before viewing it. Also, if you are offended that I posted this video suggestion, you can choose not to watch it. For everyone else, ENJOY.

Much thanks to Heath R. in Austin-

Eric Pridz - Call on Me

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Sports Trivia Answer: Kobe Bryant (2003) and Donyell Marshall (2005) both hit 12. Didn't see that coming did you?

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Song of the Post

Take A Bow - Muse

*Not-So-News Flash*

T.O. and Roy L. Williams are F'n out. Enhancing team chemistry is F'n in.

*Note, this is going to be a teaser post. Short but sweet (just like I like the ladies). 

**If you couldn't tell by the navy and burnt orange font (which you probably couldn't), the Dallas Cowboys and the Texas Longhorns are my favorite teams. And football is my favorite sport to watch, play, bet on, and talk about, so UT football is on par with the 'boys and slightly above the rest. Obviously I had to post a little something about such a big name getting released from my #1 team. I admit though, the T.O. news coverage is even going to get a little overkill to me as I'm sure it probably already has to non-Cowboy fans.

I'm sure you've already heard, read, or seen that T.O. and Roy are gone, and if you want a legit journalist's analysis on it, I suggest reading this article, my favorite so far. Concerning T.O., why would I be worried about releasing him when we have a receiver that can dance like this: (sorry for the poor quality)

I have to post the link instead of embedding the video, not sure why the embedded version wouldn't show up, my sincerest.

Concerning Roy L. Williams, anyone who isn't good enough for a second-tier Destiny's Child's member (out of two tiers), isn't good enough for me. Although I must say, she is in the top tier when it comes to attractiveness, so Roy doesn't really have anything to be embarrassed about, except maybe being the highest-paid defensive Cowboy while also managing to only be a two-down safety who makes others around him more prone to injuries.

I honestly don't think they were/are the only thing wrong with the current Cowboys' situation, but releasing them both is a good start. Also, neither of these guys were my least favorite players ever, in fact T.O. probably behaved his best in Dallas than anywhere else and performed at a very high level. I think it was preemptive damage control as the water was bound to boil over, smart move. Roy did have a couple good years with the 'boys, although he never could cover well, but he lost the "it" factor a few years back (the last couple of pro-bowl selections were ludicrous, and you'd know that if you watch enough of the NFL). Maybe he will resurrect his career somewhere else, and some GM will probably over-pay him to give him the chance. I'm just glad it's not the Cowboys time and money he will be wasting anymore.

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Song of the Post

(I thought this song made sense for this post)

American Football - Never Meant